Fatness 2 Fitness

Monday, September 19, 2005

Coming Back Swingin'

Given that the title of this blog post and even the pic could be an advertisement for erectile dysfunction I feel that is only fitting that I warn of the potential health consequences of reading this particular post...although other Fatness 2 Fitness posts may also fall under this health advisory category.

Subject may become drowsy, gaseous, nauseous...experience dizziness or lack of concern with one's own life. Additional side effects may include laughter, anger, happiness, sadness and/or any other emotion which can be explained in print. Simply put...I don't know what this does for you....but if it does something I'm not to be held liable...because I told you so.

All of the warning aside however...we are back on track. After a great week of Krav Maga, learning how to kick and punch harder, faster and in a variety of ways...sweating out gallons of perspiration...and enduring the sore muscles we pushed into a weekend session which taught us how to disarm a knife wielding attacker. Note that if we do see one coming at the present time we will opt to kick hard and move fast in the opposite direction...but if given no other choice we've seen how to shock (by way of hard fist meets soft face), hurt (twisting, popping, breaking, etc.) and potentially kill the threat in a matter of seconds (there is a loose knife involved remember). Pretty hardcore...eh? Also please note that Carrie has been instructed to "fight tough" with me to allow for the fact that she is a female partner...yet must allow me to practice as though fighting another male. I have the bruises on my arms, neck and legs to prove that she's not giving an inch in terms of favoritism. I knocked the wind out of her too...and was torn between being tough and proud or embarrassed and sorry that I gave her a shock. She responded minutes later with a punch to the throat...payback is a motherf***er sometimes.

The most important part about last week was the transition from just the two of us and fitness...to the inclusion of friends, social life outside healthy eating/living and still managing to cling to the fitness goal. We've eaten out a few times in the past week...but I've found that my appetite has changed from Super-sized to moderate sized...and my cravings for fast food have significantly dissipated. Good news for my heart and belly. In my opinion it has been the challenge to get better at Krav Maga, the focus on better food/cooking and a new approach to working out which has made this Fatness 2 Fitness goal very enjoyable. I still cheat now and then with some not-so-healthy food and skip a night at the gym...but it's an increasingly rare occurrence...which is good to know.

Until the next post...Carrie and I will continue our quest toward the Yellow Belt (give us about 2 months)...hopefully shedding more pounds and ultimately looking better than ever when Thanksgiving arrives. Be assured that the calorie boycott will go on hold when that day arrives...Thanksgiving on a diet is no Thanksgiving that I ever want to have...although I will continue my ongoing boycott of Chicago Stuffing (a horrendous sickeningly brown mess handed down through generations of Carrie's family to punish Thanksgiving eaters for enjoying an otherwise perfect non-Greek meal). If you see this mess in your lifetime simply scream, "Afto Einai Kako Skata!" and they'll get the idea that you want nothing to do with it. Trust me.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Operation "Get Fit" On Hold...Operation "Eat More" In Progress

Like the annual migration of birds, our friends have returned from Greece, summer jobs and vacationing back to their NYC nests, ready to eat, drink, hang out and do everything other than "work out". In Astoria whisps of cigarette smoke, spirited Greek-English...or Gringlish conversation, an occasional dispute over who has the better football (soccer) team and all of "our group" can now be easily found. I guess it's been there all summer...we just basically pretended that if we weren't there...it wasn't happening.

Last night for example Carrie, myself and our friend Allison Steltzner, enjoyed succulent pieces of lamb in tomato sauce, greek salad loaded with creamy Feta, pasticio, dolmades, Greek wine and galaktoboureko. Although we took a nice walk around Astoria...it wasn't the cardio routine needed to work off this feast. The pattern we've created over the past few days has been the worst we've endured since beginning the whole "Fatness 2 Fitness" blog. I must state that there is no binging going on, no hoarding of candy or gorging of cakes, pies or cookies (although the thought of each of these things sounds great....especially cake....you can't even say cake without a smile when you're done...try it). What we've been doing is rationalizing that we deserve the break, we'll work out tomorrow and we're not eating that many bad things. The reality is that we don't need a break just yet, we haven't been working out and we have been eating some bad things. Reality sucks.

Tonight I'm hitting the gym or perhaps going to Krav Maga depending on how late I get out of work (seriously...I'm not making excuses this time). Regardless...hanging out with the friends is great, catching up on a whole summer's worth of stories is fantastic and making future travel plans is really fun for all of us. Letting the work, the diet and the schedule get negatively adjusted to enjoy all of these things is terrible...even though it tastes GREAT!

So here's the deal...Fitness first, unless friends require that we hang out immediately for an important session of the Friendship Coalition. Krav Maga is our priority, The Rock is our second home and Paul's/Len's house are our sanctuaries from both of these things (when it's time to rest). I think that with a better sense of scheduling around fitness requirements and social rewards (i.e. Beer Garden, Rock Shows, Comedy Clubs, Strip Clubs with Dave, Len and Paul...just kidding) the Thinner By Thanksgiving goal will be attainable. That's the theory anyway.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Fitness God Strikes McDonald's With Great Vengeance

Recently a fire burned three adjacent buildings in my neighborhood, McDonald's, Slice Thirty-One and Twin Donut, much to the dismay of policemen, cabbies and fast food addicts in Astoria. The reason I mention this is two-fold...one, I just think that it's funny (in a you made me fat...now burn in hell way)...and two, because the smell of donuts, burgers and pizza no longer greet me when I step off the Ditmars platform. Now I breathe deep the acrid scent of burnt plastic, wood and chemicals placed in the McDonald's food which keeps us coming back for more...even though we know the food really sucks each time we eat it.

I have to mention that although Carrie and I have been very dedicated to our healthy eating, regular exercising and dedication to cook and eat at home....we've had one McDonald's trip in the last month. I ate a new chicken sandwich with very little mayo (but devoured the soggy french fries) and Carrie had some chicken strips. It sucked, we felt disgusted after eating and were immediately sorry that we fell for the temptation of Ray Kroc once again....yet what a deal for a Super Sized meal of regret!!!

I our defense...we worked out very hard the next day to cleanse the food and saturated fats from our systems. Overall it must be confessed that we are happy that McDonald's burned (sorry franchisees...at least you're insured...you could have been Twin Donut). The smell of smoke makes us sick, the sight of McDonald's' all boarded up is being taken as a sign from God (although we're pretty sure there is some heavenly influence in the McFlurry) and our gym is right across the street. With no place else to go...we're just going to go to the gym instead of doing repeated quarter pounder with cheese bicep curls. Also, if the fire doesn't ultimately cure our craving for fast food...we'll just watch the Celebrity Fit Club marathon on TV and become nauseated by various D-List stars gorging themselves on self-loathing, chocolate, burgers and delusions of a comeback. The thought of Jackee running rampant at a Hometown Buffet is making me too ill to type any longer........Seacrest Out!