Krav Maga Kicks Tuchas!

In our journey from Fatness to Fitness Carrie and I have recently discovered something Israelis, more specifically the IDF or Israeli Defense Force, have known about since 1948. Apparently under British rule then, the Israelis needed to create a means to defend themselves - man, woman and child - without weapons (because they were banned from owning them). Thus came the butt-kicking, take no prisoners, defensive explosion known as Krav Maga. Krav Maga Inc. provides a better history and explanation of the defense system...but I've provided the basic overview.

I should also quickly give you the six principles of Krav Maga...just in case you wonder about these kind of things.

1. Avoid injury
2. Devise drills that take advantage of natural reflexes
3. Defend and attack in the minimum time required
4. Use of vulnerable spots on the human body
5. Use of the natural weapons of the body as well as ordinary objects that may be nearby
6. No Rules, use everything you have

When I say Carrie and I recently discovered Krav Maga....I mean, we just attended our first class last night at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. After our first one hour session (offered 5 times a week), dripping with sweat and out of breath, pumped up from punches, kicks, grabs and bites (yes....I said bites) Carrie and I were hooked instantly. On the subway ride home we couldn't stop talking about what we learned, how intense the training could get...if we wanted it too, and also sharing observations about technique and form from class (like we know what we're talking about). This class is not only made for anyone, regardless of body type, size or shape but should be seriously considered as a mandatory service to yourself....to defend your favorite thing...your life. Not to shift this any further into infomercial mode...but we really got into this thing.

Traditional martial arts are nice to watch, with the graceful moves and accepted forms (think Tai Chi)...but Krav Maga is ugly, fierce, fast and nasty...just like the dudes looking to rough you up and/or take your wallet/iPod/Life would be. Our Instructor Rhon Mizrachi (yes..I was tempted to joke about the less intimidating Isaac Mizrachi) led us through basic self defense techniques, such as breaking choke holds, kicking genitals (really, really hard), biting sensitive areas of the neck, delivering quick elbows to attackers and breaking bear hug type holds. Carrie seriously delivered some lethal blows far too close for comfort (I happen to be her partner of course) which would have severely disabled any guy...regardless of size (it must be noted that I dutifully wear my protective cup for just this reason). Watching the other men and women, of all different ages, punching, kicking and defending was incredible. Bad guys should seriously look out...the guys are deadly...but the women are like dynamite. I pity the body of anyone trying to hurt these women. There goes the option of domestic abuse in my house (just kidding...unless Carrie's planning on beating on me).

The fitness portion of Krav Maga, particularly the cardio portion, rests on the importance of having a strong body to withstand the punishment of a fight and more importantly truly deliver a defense that renders your attacker either senseless, disabled or dead (depending on the seriousness of the threat). I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that Krav Maga is really, really hardcore....but that's what makes it so great. After the first lesson you walk away with confidence and a better defense system than curling up in a ball, screaming for help and hoping a good samaritan will intervene.

The Instructors aren't shy about telling you to walk away if possible...the best fight is not to fight at all...but if the fight happens, as Rhon gleefully exclaimed, "You kick their f***ing ass!!!!" So as mentioned before, we were out of breath and dripping with sweat...pumped up from the punches, kicks, grabs and bites...but loving every minute of it. As a result, now we're preparing for at least 3 months ($275.00) more of ass kicking, fat burning, punch throwing and kick delivering. Once again the NYC subways will be safer with Carrie and I on the watch....or at least smellier as we take the subway home after training....sorry N & W passengers but if you don't like it we may just kick your "Tuchas".